Friday, September 14, 2012

Alright, so she's married, but is she happily married?

Sept 14, 2012
Best Things I Heard In The Hallways Today- Edition 7

"You don’t even know bro, I’m in high demand at our complex. Plus 9 out of 10 dentists recommend me… and the other one is addicted to nitrous, so we can’t really trust him anyway."
(kid doing pushups and chanting every time he comes up) I will not hit on my roommate’s little sister, (down and back up) or big sister, (down and back up) or mom (repeat)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Fast and the Clueless

Sept 12, 2012
Best Things I Heard In The Hallways Today- Edition 6

Bro 1 - “I like to live my life a quarter mile at a time.”
Bro 2 -  “Sure thing Vin, you drive like a ’94 Honda.”
Bro 1 - “ Whatevs man, not all our parents buy them a car.”
Bro 2  - “No, that’s not the point, I… you… do you even get the quarter mile reference.”
Bro 1 - “ Yeah, it’s cause running the mile sucks, nobody wants to run that far.”
Bro 2 -  “dude, you’re a lost cause.”


Monday, September 10, 2012

Tasmania... Australia... Hugh Jackman... Wolverine. Three degrees of separation

Sept 10, 2012
Best Things I Heard In The Hallways Today- Edition 5

Bro 1- “No way, wolverines only exist in X-men or Looney Toons.”
Bro 2- “Okay two things, Wolverines are real, we just walked by a stuffed one down the hall. Second, that’s a Tasmanian Devil in Loony Toons, and they’re also real.”
Bro 1- “no way, do they really like, spin and  stuff?”

Girl 1 – “So in his book it said his testicle was swollen to like the size of an orange and…”
Girl 2- “Oh, an orange sounds so good right now.”
Girl 1 - *blank stare

Friday, September 7, 2012

On the bright side, if you get it then you can smoke weed in California

Sept 7, 2012
Best Things I Heard In The Hallways Today- Edition 4
(I'm working on a new acronymn, DARPA churns them out all the time, it can't be that hard)

Bro 1- “High five for breast cancer” *raises hand
Me- *high five, “wait, are we high fiving for cancer, or for cancer awareness?”
Bro 1- yeah, right on man
Me- ….?? *hand-sanitizer

(Girl's haven't been getting much love in these, I'm almost positive it's
not because they say less stupid things, but mostly because they don't talk so loud)

Girl 1- *singing Toto’s Africa
Girl 2- did you just say “I guess it rains down in Africa?”
Girl 1- yeah, those are the words, aren’t they?
Girl 2- I’m pretty sure it’s “I kiss the rains down in Africa.”
Girl 1- You can’t kiss rains, that doesn’t make any sense.
Girl 2- Yes you can, Taylor Swift sings about it in half her songs.
Girl 1- That’s kissing in the rain, not the same thing.
Girl 2- I love Taylor Swift.
Girl 1- Me too!!
(Author’s Note, they’re both wrong, “I bless the rains down in Africa”)

I heard he like, biked to the moon or something like that

Sept 6, 2012
BTHIHT- Night School Edition- UVU becomes a different monster after dark, like werewolves, or Conan O. Brian. I am in the halls for much less time, but the decrease in time is offset by the increase in "interesting people".

Bro 1- “dude did you hear, Neil Armstrong was like doping or something and totally died.”
Person of Average Intelligence- “I’m pretty sure you mixed up a few different stories
there champ.”

(really hipster looking chick) I believe it was Betty Ford who said “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” (Author’s Note, it wasn’t)

Dude 1- As your bro, I support you, but I’m obligated to tell you that she is a soft 6, at best.
Dude 2- Yeeeeaah, I know, but do I look like I am in any position to be picky? (Author’s Note, he didn’t)

Hi, you've reached Jimmy, if you can dream it, you can do it!

Did you smoke this? Cause this is just oregano.